The pressure to be perfect: When good enough feels like failure
- Stella Teixeira
- Oct 27
- 3 min read
Updated: Oct 29
In today's world, people feel like they should go through life flawlessly. Throughout sports, grades, social media and life choices, “good”, “great” or “good enough" are seen as “not enough”. Everyone around us tries to show their best parts, their wins, highlights, and achievements, while the real question that goes through their heads is: “If when everyone tries to stand out, no one stands out, how do I somehow stand out more than everybody else?”
People, especially students, think, “I will only be successful if I am perfect”, or “I am not allowed to fail; otherwise, colleges will see how I am one step behind”. But in most cases, that is not true. Failure is what makes us learn, grow, and shape who we are. Saying this is easy, but realistically, no one wants to be the one admitting their errors and showing how their tears and missed goals made them better. Everyone wants to be the person who shows up everyday with a perfect smile,, is the president of multiple clubs, has perfect grades, and still somehow has time for a social life. This is the idealization students create in their minds–that perfection is a requirement. Of course everyone's dream is to be that one student but achievements don't always mean happiness. The fear of imperfection is paralysing. Let me explain. People try everything they see because they think,“What if I miss that opportunity? What if this was my time to shine?” The truth is: they are afraid to fail. Every new achievement feels good at first, but in the end, you haven't necessarily developed what you love, which is the most important part. We forget that trying and failing are sometimes embarrassing and don't feel good, but they are what build what we want in life and teach us the most.
Perfection is a moving target. When you reach your goal, another person comes right up and doubles the expectation that you once beat. The pressure never ends, unless you decide what is good for you, and only you. Goals shouldn't be something that you and your classmates fight against each other to reach. They should be unique to you, and when you reach that goal, you are happy with yourself, without being guilty of comparisons that someone may have done better. From a young age, we are praised for every small achievement and effort. The message that sticks to our brains is “if you are not the best, you are not worth noticing,” Over our lives, we feel like we are being watched, and need to prove something every time we try to live up to an image that is not even real. This pressure from all around us feels like a protection to our futures, or even a good influence, but truly, it hides the fear of rejection, failure and is a constant trap we set for ourselves. It is truly sad that everyone,including myself, grows up with this feeling.. Even if it is really small, it is still present. People forget to enjoy what they are doing, pushing themselves so hard to avoid disappointment. It is natural to be imperfect, and that is how we learn to grow and to connect and enjoy life in peace with ourselves.
In conclusion, you, the reader, might think, “Oh, so she is saying that we should not push ourselves”. No, I don't mean that you should not push yourselves. In fact, it is great to have people to push you to your best and even putting some pressure on yourself is healthy. What I am trying to say is that this pressure should come with balance, and with a clearly established limit. Beyond your limit is where you forget that you are doing things for yourself. Within your limit is when you enjoy doing things for yourself, without constant comparison to others, or even some healthy competition. Of course things will get hard sometimes. Tears, frustration, and fear of failure are all parts of life, but I promise you that once you realize that life is so much more than perfection, and truly more about excellence to yourself, your goals will seem more reachable, and you will finally understand that “good enough” was never failure to start with. To be more than good enough is your choice to impress yourself, not others.
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