Stop Saying ‘It's Fine’ When It Isn't

From a young age, many are taught that accepting uncomfortable situations is a way to be polite. 

But there's a crucial issue that often goes unnoticed: people are mistaking politeness for people-pleasing.

True manners are rooted in respect, both for others and for ourselves. When passivity crosses the line into self-neglect, it opens doors for greater damage. Suppressing true feelings isn't harmless politeness; it's a way to gradually weaken our sense of identity.

In some cases, seeking a friendly response seems like an ideal approach. However, it is important to notice that being kind doesn't mean being submissive. In fact, allowing ourselves into unwanted situations to avoid further conflicts might result in even greater harm. The more we accept from others without a clear set of boundaries, the more our morale weakens. If we don't exhibit respect for ourselves, how can we expect others to do the same?

The way we act and react teaches people how to treat us by setting standards for future interactions. When we suppress our own feelings, we unintentionally teach people to invalidate them, which influences how they see us. The constant representation of lack of authority encourages people to underestimate our value. Moreover, allowing people to shape our identity affects our individual sense of self, weakening our confidence.

Although such statements are a common response, they often signal a resistance to displaying self-assurance, demonstrating vulnerability. Refusing to stand up for ourselves in these situations reinforces the other's position, allowing them to invalidate our emotions and normalize disrespect. When exposed to uncomfortable situations, maintaining our standards of respect and dignity is a way to prove our self-worth. Despite the potential for criticism, drawing lines helps validate our worth to ourselves and others.

Establishing boundaries is essential. However, it is equally important to balance boldness with compassion. Setting our limits shouldn't be mistaken for shutting people down. Some people may misinterpret confidence as arrogance, but it's truly about expressing our determination. To be assertive is to ensure our expectations are acknowledged while maintaining mutual respect.

References

https://pt.dreamstime.com/illustration/self-sabotage.html

https://www.cynthiacorsetti.com/stop-saying-its-fine-when-its-not/